[This post is part of the larger one A supply hub tour]
R: I have a very interesting story, I can tell it [takes out a Soviet military ID]. Here, honey, open it and take a look. Read it carefully, then you’ll see it’s not as simple as it seems. Read the year.
I: 1898.
V: Oh, wow, 1898.
R: Read on… keep flipping, I’ll tell you the story afterwards.
I: Nationality: Ukrainian, Kharkiv region.
R: Yeah, Kharkiv region. Go on. When was he drafted?
I: Kupyansky.
R: Kupyansky, next.
I: So, drafted during mobilization on the 10th, 10th, 41st year [Oct 10, 1941]… What’s the deal with this? How’s that even possible?
R: The year 1941 – that’s World War II.
I: Yeah.
R: A bit confusing, isn’t it?
I: It doesn’t make no sense at all. How is this possible? [reads in Russian] “I participated in the Great Patriotic War and other wars.”
R: He did that before his mobilization, and then he “participated” there [in WWII]. Now let me tell you the story of this military ID.
R: It’s gonna be hard for you to translate right now, but this is a very interesting story. This military ID was taken off a dead Russian. Go on, translate.
R: This isn’t his military ID; it’s his grandfather’s. His granddad was originally from Kupyansk. And his grandson – the grandson of that grandfather – came to Kupyansk almost 100 years later to “liberate” us from fascists. Pure madness, right?
R: So, what’s going on in the heads of these morons? He came and took the ID of his own granddad, who was from here, who was killing fascists here.
R: What’s in his head? “Granddad has flipped over in his grave,” as we say [Note: an Eastern European idiom, meaning something is so ridiculous that even the dead are shocked]. Total insanity. The boys brought this to me. His personal ID couldn’t have been handed over – that goes for the exchange of bodies. But this one right here is an unbelievable story I know now. It’s the truth. I had plenty of other souvenirs, but I gave ‘em away. Had Russian body armor and all that, but gave it all away in exchange for donations and stuff. This here is a very interesting souvenir, just so you understand.
I: Yeah, seriously, it’s unreal. After so many years–
R: Only a Ukrainian can truly comprehend this story. A foreigner won’t get what’s in this dumbass’s head. What’s up with his head, when he, the idiot, went and took his granddad’s ID and came here to liberate us. From whom?
I: An idiot.
R: Idiot.
R: I’m speechless, just speechless. No matter who I tell this story to, people are shocked. I was in shock myself when they brought me the ID; I looked at it and just couldn’t understand. A hundred years have passed.
R: A fascist came to liberate us from fascists, you see?
R: You’re from America,right? From the States?
V: I’m English… from England.
R: From England? Try telling this to the English people. I don’t know if they’ll fully understand or not. It’s very hard.
I: [in English] Do you understand the irony?
V: Yes, moron! [In Ukrainian]
R: Exactly, a moron! One hundred percent a moron!
[Everyone laughs loudly]
Leave a Reply