Vlada’s story

Vlada: Okay. Um… Ask Vic if I should tell her about… about the experience of the full-scale invasion.

Valeriia: Do, do you want to hear about her experience of the start of the full-scale invasion?

Vic: Um. I mean, if… if you’re happy to speak about it, um, I know it’s a, not happy subject, so… yeah.

Vlada: I’m OK. If she will be, like, I’m okay if she uses it somewhere, like, in her works.

Vic: Okay. So, um, what happened when the full-scale invasion started?

Vlada: Uh, well, our town was one of the first ones to be captured, like, in the first days of the full-scale invasion. And right away we all gathered together, like, us, our family, my mother’s brother’s family, uh, yeah, and we went to our grandparents, I have no idea why, because it was closer to the frontline. Well, at least we were all together and… I think, we all lived together for at least 3 weeks. Uh, well, those 3 weeks were the hardest, before we left [the occupation], because we… for 3 or 4 times we planned to leave, 2 times we tried to, but then came back, because either we forgot something or our friends who we wanted to leave together with didn’t make contact with us, and we wanted to leave all together, because it was safer that way.

Umm… it was a pretty common story that we had no power, no water, no connection, no internet, nothing, you had to… I don’t know where you had to climb, where to find that spot where you’d have at least some connection, or… umm, my dad drove to Polohy often, and there was at least some internet and cell connection, and there was none in the village. And we sat there, and I was reading books all day every day, yeah. And I barely remember anything. Umm… there was even a tra, a tradition formed. When there was no power, we had to somehow watch the news, and there was some, like we had Ukrainian TV, it wasn’t jammed as bad then, and we would take a little power generator and all we could watch would be like an hour before sleep, to not go to sleep just as the sun set, because it was very boring. We watched news or some movie, if that was okay, while everyone would shower, while everyone would heat up water for themselves, while everyone would gather to go to sleep, and then we all went to bed. Really early, to be honest, because the sun was setting early.

When we were leaving… I remembered. Uh, those russian soldiers, when we were leaving, they were all so kind, like ugh. Uh, my brother was like… how old were our Ivans? 10? Like 10 [years old]. Yeah, and we were leaving, and on one of the roadblocks a soldier gave him a candy, and on the other roadblock they told us that, like, along the fields, like, you cannot stop or go slowly, because there are either mines or there can be someone in the field, like, a tank, and they can simply… blow the car up.

Well, and when we left, it felt as if it were two different worlds. Like we drove through the occupied territories, yeah, and there everything was so dark, so somber, so… uncool, and just as we entered Zaporizhzhia, and the sun came out. And I remember that we are driving through the dam, through Dnipro [the river], and the sun is shining, and I wasn’t so happy for a very long time. That’s it, I’ve got nothing else to tell. (laughs)

Valeriia: Well maybe you heard about, about the, how you heard of, of all those things, of all those… Pes Patrons, the first thing you hear of them om the occupied territories.

Vlada: Nah. When I was on the occupied territories, I never heard, and at the time those things weren’t even created. Those were the first weeks. Everyone was panicked then, and no one did… did… start to pull something funny out of the war. It was later, mon… a few months later.

Valeriia: [translating] Only after the first few months they [people] started to, to make memes about that and stuff. Which is funny, because it’s contrary to my experience.

Vlada: You heard of that on the occupied territories?

Valeriia: I’ve never been to the occupied territories.

Vlada: Well then what are you telling me. (both laugh) Um… so what, any meaning, well, like, I didn’t get into all these stories for a very long time at first, when they were just becoming, eh, viral, they just started to appear, I wasn’t as interested. I already, it caught up to me, maybe already like, after a few months of them all being out, all of them, like, the same Chmonia, per Patron like, granny with pickles, something else… yeah, and only them all of it, like, started to appear more often, and I already, like, knew of all of it.

About the Ghost of Kyiv I as well, I never… well like, at first I started to see some edits with him [edits – edited video clips with some music], uh, yeah, but… there was no context. And only layer, like, after a few weeks, eh… I came across a video, that this is the Ghost of Kyiv, that it is, like, our Ukrainian pilot, uh, yeah, and that, like, what he does at all, what is his duty, but I also didn’t put any effort into learning more than I just saw in… like, what I got in my feed. What else can I… Remind me of what else can I talk about.

Valeriia: Pookie, this, this is… this is your interview, not mine.

Vlada: I’ll remember something.

Valeriia: Gypsies stole a tank.

Vlada: Well I heard of that like a newsworthy event.

Vic: So it was actually on the news, not just social media?

Vlada: Well I saw a ton of news, like, gypsies stole a tank, but I think I never saw it in my social media.

Vic: M’kay. So, the, um… the short soldier guy, who looks like a kid, is… is there a story associated with him or is it just he looks funny?

Vlada: Actually I have no idea what story Chmonia has, like, why was he photographed that way, why is there music «не стій під вікном» [She’s talking about the song «Не стій під вікном» – Руся].

Valeriia: (laughs)

Vlada: And I know nothing at all besides the fact that this is Chmonia and everyone was posting him with a song «не стій під вікном», it was enough for me, it was very funny.

Valeriia: [translating] …why was he often posed to a song that goes like (starts singing) «Не стій під вікном, не дивись засмучено» (laughs), she has no idea about why is that… but I can explain! (laughs)

Vic: (laughs) Okay.

Valeriia: But that is not my interview!

Vic: Explain.

Valeriia: Yeah, actually this was a… russian soldier, this was a… prisoner of war. We captured him. And basically those, this was like a mugshot, you know? They [Ukrainian soldiers], they take a photo of them [the captives], just to keep track of them, so this mugshot got leaked and someone posted him by this song, this is a very funny song, like, I, I just sang it to you. (starts singing) «Не стій під вікном, не дивись засмучено, не стій під вікном, я вже заручена», which basically translates into «Do not stand under my window, do not look at me in this sad way, do not stand under, under my window, because I’m already engaged [to another]».

You know. It’s basically like, about a man who’s trying to make a move on a girl, but she’s already, like… taken. And I think this was a joke about his, his look, because he was looking so… (laughs) I’m sorry, I just saw him! He was looking so devastated, like, he looked so ridiculous and stupid, just look at him! (shows a picture of Chmonia) And, and people just started posting him with the song, because it looked so, so nice together. I just… it, it made me laugh so much because I forgot, I, I genuinely forgot that it happened. I, it just, just… flew out of my mind forever and she reminded me of all of this. (laughs) And I just remember how funny it was at the time. It was, this was peak comedy.

Vic: So he’s got a song, Pes Patron’s got a song. Does anyone else have a song?

Vlada: Well, for Chmonia it isn’t a song written specifically for him. It’s, like, just some Ukrainian national song, that, uh, fits the photo very well. Eh… mayor of Mykolaiv. I think, that man, that said, like, «Zelenskyy is our president». Wait, wait…

Valeriia: (translating) I have no idea what she’s talking about. (Vic laughs) She’s gotta look it up.

Vlada: Here. (shows a video)

Valeriia: I do, um… She shows me the mayor of Mykolaiv [she’s talking about Vitaliy Kim] and I do know him but I have no idea what… like… what was this joke about him… I don’t know, man…

Vlada: There, he had a thing with socks. Like, he posted a photo, okay… somewhere there was a photo, that… he basically posted a photo, where, uh, that was already during the full-scale invasion, where he sits in all of this and in colorful socks. Yeah. And he became very viral then, and he had, and he… he made up «Доброго вечора, ми з України!», right! [Good evening, we’re from Ukraine – a famous meme in Ukrainian]

Valeriia: (starts singing)

Vlada: There, yeah, those… that’s it, I’m thinking like, that is his song, that was written for him.

Valeriia: That’s what she was talking about, that was a song that was actually written about him. (starts singing again)

Vlada: Yeah, like… and them there was a lot of t-shirts «Доброго вечора, ми з України!», and tote bags, phone cases, everything «Доброго вечора … »!

Vic: So he said that and then that’s why it became a meme?

Vlada: Yeah. He made a Telegram channel where he started every post with «Доброго вечора..» or «Доброго ранку, ми з України».

Vic: Okay. I’ve seen that on a lot of stuff. I think that I’ve got a mug with it, but I didn’t know where it came from.

Valeriia: You should look it up, really.

Vlada: That was really his Telegram channel…

Vic: So his Telegram cha, so his channel was very popular?

Vlada: Yeah. Uh, it’s like… 30 thousand of those followers? A lot. Ти шукаєш пісню?

Valeriia: I’m trying to look up the song «Доброго вечора, ми з України», but I, I cannot, for some reason… (the song plays) oh, that’s it! (laughs)

Vlada: This is the song.

Valeriia: This was, this was hard at the first months of the full-scale invasion. This, this was tuff.

Vlada: Eh, I don’t know, that’s it, I think Kim that was my fa… ah no, there as also… there was also a man, one moment…

Vic: And there was also the um, I remember there was the little racoon with the «Pedro, pedro, pedro» song with the racoon doing the…

Vlada: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Vic: Was that from before the full-scale invasion or…?

Vlada: By the way I don’t know, I saw [the meme]… I don’t know, like, where this meme came from.

Vic: Yeah, I remember there was, like, two weeks where it was everywhere. And it just disappeared. (laughs)

Vlada: Memes during the full-scale…

Valeriia: Ми в церкву ходим перед каждою грою, перед каждою грою… (laughs) [Referencing this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qkBr2UKSQE though this meme was created long before the full-scale invasion and even before of the start or russian-Ukrainian war in 2014] An unrelated to the full-scale invasion meme where a man is saying, like… [The literal translation would be: «It feels as if God is punishing us for something», … «Maybe you could go to the church?», «We attend the church before every [football] game, before every one, before every game we go to the church, before every game we go to the church! Who else is there to pray to? Who can we pray to? Before every game our team goes to church, before every one!»]

Vlada: «There was and there will not be a president like this» This song.

Valeriia: [translating] There was a song… Okay, not what I was talking about before. Uh, she says that there was a song that…

Vlada: «Вова, їбаш їх блять», this one…

Valeriia: «Вова, їбаш їх блять». Have you heard about it?

Vic: Don’t think so.

Valeriia: Like, Vova, str… fucking strike them. Talking about Zelenskyy.

Vlada: Uh, there was a video, uh… I don’t know. I don’t know who this man is, but there was a video, and… where he said that, he was defending, like, Zelenskyy, because that was peak, when he was starting to get a lot of hate because that he didn’t, well, like, that nothing was happening. Yeah, and he [the man] said in a very motivation inspiring way «There was and there will not be a president like this», and then people made a song out of it.

Valeriia: [translating] …(starts singing «Вова, їбаш їх блять», laughs) it translates to, like «Vova, fucking strike them», «fucking get them»… hard to translate, really.

Vic: Like, they wanna strike, um, Zelenskyy, cause he was doing a bad job?

Valeriia: No, he was telling Zelenskyy to… get those people out, or maybe the russians, I don’t know. Why… why the fuck am I answering? I’m so sorry!

Vic: (laughs)

Valeriia: I’m so sorry. (all laugh) I should not be allowed to talk.

Vlada: Basically I have the same thoughts. Well, considering he was defending him [Zelenskyy], then he said, like, for Zelenskyy to fuck russians up. Yeah. I think it was like that.

Valeriia: [translating] …She said that she has the same thoughts as me because we are the same… organism.

Vic: (laughs)

Vlada: Uh, yeah, I think I won’t remember anything else… those were my two favorite ones. Those were my two favorites because then, uh, both Kim, like, the mayor of Mykolaiv, and this man, they became viral and started to make a lot of videos. And in every video they’d say something or do something very funny, like. Especially Kim, like, he’s the mayor, he has to be serious, but he was sitting in his office, well, always very funnily and recording funny videos as if he was just on his kitchen at home. And at the same time he was a very cool mayor. [Vitaliy Kim is not actually a mayor of Mykolaiv but instead the Head of the Mykolaiv Regional State (and during the full-scale invasion, Military) Administration, which is a similar position but it is overseeing the whole Oblast (region) instead of just the Mykolaiv city.]

Vic: Is he still a mayor?

Vlada: Uh, I don’t know. I’ll google it. (all laugh) Mayor of Kyiv… not anymore. I think that…

Vic: Does the new one do memes as well?

Valeriia: Come again?

Vic: Does the new mayor do memes or are they boring?

Vlada: Eh, I don’t know, I haven’t seen them in a very long time, I think, I haven’t seen them for the last one and a half or two years. They were popular the first year, when there was still a lot of enthusiasm, when there was a lot of faith that this would all end quickly, yeah… and, well somewhere by the end of the first year, the end of the first to the start of the second year, and then less and less… maybe that’s just my, like, they disappeared from my feed [of social media], but I haven’t seen them in a long while.

Vic: Do you see less merchandise being sold with, like, memes on it, Pes Patron, that sort of thing now?

Vlada: It’s been a long time since I saw Pes Patron merch. And, like, memes with him. Sometimes I’d see just the page of his owners, where he’s being bathed, takes walks outside, yeah, something like that.

Vic: (laughs) But not on t-shirts and stuff?

Vlada: Without the t-shirts, without any, without Pes Patron, t-shirts of Pes Patron. Because before on my job I saw this big doll of Pes Patron a bunch of times, like, animator [entertainer], because we hosted, like, a birthday celebration of dome lady, she was celebrating her jubilee, and people hired a Pes Patron. (laughs)

Valeriia: [translating] I would want that.

Vic: Just In public, or, like, to a house?

Vlada: В ресторані. [In a restaurant]

Vic: Oh. (laughs) So it, not like the, it’s like in Rynok Ploscha, where there’s always like Sponge Bob and… I don’t know what the horse is.

Vlada: Something like that, but the costumes were beautiful. (laughs)

Vic: Should try and find him for your birthday.

Valeriia: Yes! (laughs) Yes! Please do! (laughs) Oh my god.

Vic: Um, yeah, So I don’t have any more questions. Is there anything else you wanna add, or?

Vlada: I think that’s it. Thank you.

Vic: Okay, thank you for your time. And your English is very good, so.

Vlada: Thank you so much!

Valeriia: I agree.

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