Vic: So can you tell me about Pes Patron?
Mary: I’ve always loved Pes Patron. When I first came to Lviv in December of 22, there were Pes Patron posters everywhere, and I just thought it was amazing. I have young refugee friends in Berlin. I purchase Pest Patron books for them. I purchased Pes Patron stuffed animals for them. And in Berlin for that entire year, the Pes Patron dog was the boy and the girl’s favourite, favourite toy. They fought over it all the time and I got them the books in Ukrainian to help them stay with their Ukrainian, because at home they were mostly speaking Russian or learning German.
But I love the idea of Pes Patron. I have a friend, [Redacted], who has a dog that she brought here and she always jokes about, you know, after the victory that her dog, who’s very, very social and like an untrained psycho support dog, that she and Patron should be married and then should do joint PR work throughout the country trying to rebuild. But, yeah, at the beginning, you couldn’t get away from Pes Patron, every bookstore. He was, you know, anti-mine, you know, watching out for mine, mine safety posters. But, yeah, to me, he’s in my heart. I’m always happy to see world leaders meeting Pes Patron. And I was shocked to hear that maybe he had died, in a couple of your interviews? And I hope that’s not true. But I guess if it’s true, his spirit lives on in the new Patron. Or not new, but the newly renamed Patron. And I think the symbol is fantastic.
Vic: So would it have any real impact on how you feel about it if it was the second or even third Pes Patron?
Mary: Nah, I’d just be sad for the first Pes Patron. And because you didn’t tell me I could come to the funeral, you know <laughs>. Amazing how you can be attached to a dog you don’t even know. But of all the people- I mean, in Ukraine, I’d love to meet Zelensky over Pes Patron. But anyone else? Ehh, maybe Pes Patron.
Vic: Do you have any Pes Patron merch for yourself?
Mary: Do I have any? I think I have a notebook, but I literally- I took it all to the kids, you know, and I’ve given- I bought, I purchased a shitload of it, but I’ve given away a shitload of it. But now you talk about it, now I want one <laughs>.
Vic: Can you tell me about the Ghost of Kyiv?
Mary: Do you know something? I don’t know much about the Ghost of Kyiv. I mean, I’ve seen it referenced. I know there’s a Ghost of Kyiv. I know that the Russians were, you know, believing there’s a Ghost of Kyiv. But I just like, okay, there’s a Ghost of Kyiv. I like the idea. But I didn’t, you know- I guess it’s some mystery plane that shoots everything down, right? Or some mystery pilot? But I actually don’t know the details. But it’s there in the background- like, Ghost of Kyiv, I have a notebook with Ghost of Kyiv and it says, “do you believe in ghosts?” and I have that as one of my favourite notebooks. But the details of it I just let them, I just let them go, because it’s a ghost. It’s up there with Snake Island in my head. A legend, you don’t have to know all the details.
Vic: So what happened on Snake Island?
Mary: Oh the go fuck yourself Russia. That was absolutely brilliant. I remember, it was really funny- in the United States when I was arguing with people who were- I was arguing with some idiot people who were sucking up Russian propaganda, the way the far left does in the US. They suck up propaganda. And I was having coffee with this former friend of mine, and he was telling me about “this Snake Island thing, the guy didn’t even die!” I’m saying, “yeah, and we don’t think that’s a bad thing in Ukraine”. <laughs> “We’re happy he’s alive!” And it was just, it was like part of the Russian propaganda was like, “they lied about Snake Island”. But, I bought those stamps. I have those stamps. The one that came out, the Snake Island stamps. Oh, stamps are a wonderful thing! You should look at that. I think, they have- I might even have Pes Patron stamps but they’re back in the US. I haven’t looked at them in a while. I bought a bunch of stamps and kept them.
Vic: Have you heard about the babusia that threw the jar of something pickled at a drone?
Mary: I think it was tomatoes <laughs>. Yes I have. Yes, everyone has heard that story and we believe it because we all want to be that babusia. At least, all the older women want to be that babusia.
Vic: So you’re on team “it was tomatoes”? Or tomatoes [in an American accent].
Mary: Well I think the, the difference is they were pickled tomatoes! So then in Ukrainian, people just say it was pickles. You know it’s a pickle. So that’s I think- that’s how it came, because no I’ve never heard anyone say it was cucumbers.
Vic: No, I have been told огірок [Ukrainian word that refers to cucumbers but also commonly pickles].
Mary: See I haven’t heard that. I heard it was pickles, and- I mean, tomatoes makes more sense because it’s a bloody mess when it hits a drone, so. <laughs>
Vic: So as a babusia, do you- <laughs at Mary’s expression>
Mary: You’ve outed me.
Vic: Do you keep- would you consider keeping jars of pickles on your window ledge just in case you see a drone?
Mary: No, but I have all the components except for the fuel to make Molotov cocktails in my apartment. I’ve got the bottles, I’ve got the styrofoam, I have the fuses, I have the recipe on the side of my refrigerator, in case I forget.
Vic: Is the recipe like your handwritten notes, or is it something you bought?
Mary: No, no, no, I got it off the internet. Actually, a friend of mine from- <laughs> with a CIA background sent it to me, so it was a good one. <laughs>
Vic: How do you feel about the proposals to rename them “Bandera smoothies”?
Mary: Mmm, I have mixed feelings about Bandera. You know, because he was a Nazi collaborator. He wasn’t… Yeah, I have mixed feelings about Bandera. But he was a Ukrainian nationalist, and I am a Ukrainian nationalist, I guess. But, yeah, I don’t like Molotov either, right? Bandera smoothies. Okay, I’ll go for a Bandera smoothie.
Vic: Did you hear much about people making Molotovs at the start of the full-scale invasion?
Mary: I was just watching people making them in Kyiv. I was forced out before the full-scale invasion, but I was on social media 24 hours a day for like three days. I barely slept, watching. And I was watching the people meeting at the points in Kyiv, putting together Molotov cocktails, the people getting the AK-47s issued. I was getting texts from people who were there. One of my friends- really far thinking says, “‘Drones are it. Donate for drones, now.” I remember that and I’m thinking, “Drones? Drones?” This is me in March of 2022. “Real ones?” And boy, that man is right. Anything he says now, I listen to.
Vic: Thank you.
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